Secrets of Science: How to Defeat Self Sabotage

Written by Martin Lucas

Self belief is a motherf*%$er. When faced with it, we all believe we suffer on our own. All of us feel the same and all of us are wrong. It’s very common to have those moments of doubt and to question your talent, intellect, looks, skill... the list goes on and on.

It is time to get grounded in reality. Our goal today is to understand self sabotage when it comes to what we experience and how it affects us. The more we understand, the more we can defeat the saboteur.

What is Projection?

Whatever feelings we have about ourselves sits within the three parts of our brain that create our behaviours:

Conscious - What you are thinking right now

Subconscious - What you are about to feel

Unconscious - Millions of data points rolling all the time

Let’s say we are having a hard time at work, the boss is on our case and making us feel that we aren’t good enough. This feeling builds inside us, it repeats over and over, it starts to dominate our thoughts and we feel like crap. At some point we decide to fight back and just ‘get over it’ by pushing on and ignoring them as best we can. It happens right?

Totes! At this point we consciously stop thinking about feeling this way BUT it hasn’t left our brain, it’s simply been stored in our unconscious. The challenge with this is that the unconscious mind guides all we do. Should we try something? Should we not try?

If a situation presents itself that has any perceived likeness to the boss raging on us situation then you are now likely to reject it. Sometimes you know why and other times it “just didn’t feel right”. See what I mean? We create our own self sabotage.

Resistance

Let us pivot and I’ll use a different example to help us connect the dots; our brain never, ever, ever stops evolving and learning unless we don’t let it. The more we nourish it and learn the more it keeps developing.

We’ve all heard about someone who retires and lives multiple lives learning new stuff and going off to see the world.

We have also heard about someone who retired and passed away really quickly as, “they didn’t have much to do, work was their thing”.

It’s a real thing. Our brain wants to keep active, just like our physical being does. I use this as an example because understanding what you put into your brain (or not) makes all the difference, it makes you who you are. Who you are is always evolving, you are not the same person today as yesterday nor will you be the same person tomorrow as you are today. Experiences alter who you are, the example with your boss has altered you, you now judge similar situations not as opportunities but as threats and thus avoid them. That is now your resistance and self sabotage is present.

Set Yourself Free

What you have to recognise is that this is not a permanent state of being, it’s not the new you. Everything can be controlled with one simple skill - Self Awareness.

This is one of our nine types of intelligence, being self aware is about understanding how the wider world is affecting you and checking to see if it is altering your pattern of behaviour.

It is not some mythical spiritual capability, it’s all practical science, really practical. If something happens to you then you can train yourself to think about it and ask yourself questions:

How did that affect me?

Am I going to let it affect me?

Do I know it’s not personal?

Am I feeling ok?

Do I accept someone else making me feel bad?

The power of the brain is yours to control. Next time the doubt arrives just block it, say to yourself “No”. Say “No” again, that is not me, now go away. Repeat and you will be training your brain and IF you keep doing it, you will have control and change your cognitive pattern.

It sounds kinda nuts but here is the thing, thinking patterns become conscious voices in our heads, in ALL our heads. Sometimes our society creates false perceptions and it creates the self worth doubts we started with. In this case, society taught us that voices in our heads mean we are crazy. Society needs to catch up with science and the fact is we all hear the voice, it’s how our brain communicates to our conscious self. That is normal.

The rest is up to you and Master Yoda:

yoda-NO.jpg

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